Wednesdays With Watson: Faith & Trauma Amy Watson- PTSD Patient-Trauma Survivor

Bipolar Disorder 101: Beyond the Stigma

• Amy Watson: Trauma Survivor, Hope Carrier, Precious Daughter Of The Most High God • Season 7 • Episode 18

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The fog lifts momentarily, only to descend again. The lightning that fuels creativity brings thunder in its wake. This is the reality for millions living with bipolar disorder – not just mood swings, but profound shifts that can transform daily functioning into heroic acts of survival.

Bipolar disorder remains one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions, carrying heavy stigma despite affecting countless lives. Through Jonah's powerful story, we witness the journey from despair to diagnosis, from isolation to community, from suffering to managing. His experience mirrors what many face: the electric highs of mania with its decreased need for sleep and grandiose thinking, followed by crushing depressive episodes that can last weeks.

We carefully distinguish between bipolar I with its full manic episodes requiring hospitalization, and bipolar II with its less severe hypomanic states. The cycling between these poles creates a uniquely challenging experience that impacts relationships, work, and self-perception. What many don't realize is how frequently childhood trauma correlates with bipolar disorder development, as adverse experiences literally reshape developing brains and stress response systems.

Treatment offers real hope – medication like mood stabilizers remains the cornerstone, while therapy provides essential coping strategies. Yet perhaps the greatest challenge lies in medication compliance, as feeling better often leads to abandoning treatment. For loved ones supporting someone with bipolar disorder, understanding this pattern becomes crucial, as does recognizing that people with this condition often have limited insight into their symptoms.

Recovery doesn't mean cured – it means stable, self-aware, and equipped with tools to navigate life's challenges. Some of the most creative, resilient people manage this condition daily, finding strength through their struggles. Whether you're personally affected or supporting someone on this journey, remember this truth: bipolar disorder is part of someone's story, not their entire identity.

Reach out for help if these conversations resonate with you. Through proper diagnosis, consistent treatment, and compassionate community, there is light even in the darkest storms. You are not your diagnosis. You are seen, you are known, you are heard, you are loved, and you are valuable beyond measure.

You ARE:
SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED

Speaker 1:

You're lost in the fog, no answer in sight. You can't find a pill to make it all right. What would I give to make it all right?

Speaker 2:

Sometimes survival looks like heroism. It looks like brushing your teeth after three days in bed. It looks like answering one text message when you want to disappear. It looks like saying I need help. This is a story of a bipolar patient, and this is what hope sounds like when you almost lose it. Lose it.

Speaker 2:

He didn't always feel broken. There were times when he felt electric, even untouchable. He'd fill five sketchbooks in a week. He'd build three websites in a weekend. He'd call his friends at 3 am just to tell him about the future that he could see.

Speaker 2:

He didn't know that the same brain that gave him the lightning would eventually bring the thunder, because when the high was over, you see, there was silence. Then he stopped drawing, he stopped answering his phone. He would lay in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, hoping, maybe even begging, that sleep would swallow him whole. He would cry without acknowledging why. Or worse, sometimes he wouldn't feel anything at all, not joy, not sadness, just gray. You see, he didn't think he was sick. He thought he was failing. He thought maybe he was just too weak for this world.

Speaker 2:

And in his darkest hour, when he started to write a note, it wasn't a note of a journal entry. It wasn't a note of a to-do list, it was a goodbye. But then something stopped him, or rather somebody, because you see, his sister knocked on the door and she waited. She didn't leave, she didn't give a speech, she just told him you can't do this alone and you don't have to do it alone. So Jonah answered the door and he didn't believe her right away, his sister. But she asked him to go to an appointment. He went to the appointment, he sat in the chair and he spoke the words for the out loud for the first time Something's wrong with me. I don't know what, but I don't want to die, not really. He left the office that day with a diagnosis bipolar two. It wasn't a death sentence, it had a name and with that name came a map. Not a shortcut, not a miracle, but a way through.

Speaker 2:

Because, you see, therapy came next medication. He learned his rhythms. He started to track his moods. He learned his rhythms. He started to track his moods. He started to draw again, not to be brilliant, he started to draw just so he could breathe. And one day he painted something, not for work, not for anybody else, but just for himself. It was a storm split down the middle, lightning on one side and sunrise on the other. He titled it Still here. Because, you see, that painting became a series. That series became a gallery show and that show sparked conversations with strangers, some who whispered I feel that too and he would smile and say I know you're not alone Because, you see, jonah still has bad days, he still has storms, but now he has a shelter, he has a words.

Speaker 2:

He has many, many words for his pain. He has people, he has God, he has a star of the story. He remembers the star of the story when he checks his journal, his mood journal. He still goes to therapy. He still reaches out to those people at his church and in his life when he needs it. The thing about it, guys, is that he is still here.

Speaker 2:

So if you're listening to this and you feel like you're slipping, if you're tired of that climb, please let this story be your pause button. Let it remind you that if you or somebody you love is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, you or they are not your diagnosis, you or they are not a burden. You or they are not a burden, you or they are not alone. There is light, there is help, and you or someone you love deserves both. Welcome to the Wednesdays with Watson podcast. This is Bipolar Disorder 101. Hey everybody, and welcome back to the Wednesdays with Watson podcast. You know by now, but my name is Amy Watson and I am your host. I am super grateful that you've decided to spend a few moments with me. I've said it so many times over the years time is not something that we are making more of, and I am so grateful that you have decided to spend a little bit of time with me.

Speaker 2:

This episode, being dropped on the 4th of June and 2025, was meant to be dropped in May for Mental Health Awareness Month. As many of you know, this is a podcast that focuses on trauma, but today we are going to talk about bipolar disorder. This is a topic that affects millions of people. It affects some of them silently, some of them loudly and some of them somewhere in between. I've promised this episode for quite some time. We were going to do it for a mental health awareness month, but my dissertation guys, it be dissertationing and so I am behind. But I did want to get to this episode because whether you are living with bipolar disorder, you love somebody who is, or you're just trying to understand the complex condition better. This episode is for you. We're going to unpack all the basics of bipolar disorder. What is it, what isn't it, how does it show up, how is it treated and, most importantly, how can I have hope, even in my affliction? Let's dip into this episode about bipolar disorder. Okay, guys, and so I am so excited kind of to talk to you about bipolar disorder. This is something that I have seen a lot in my work at the hospital.

Speaker 2:

It is often misunderstood, as bipolar disorder does carry with it a significant stigma, but it is a serious mental illness. It is a mental health condition often marked by significant shifts in mood. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder. It will shift energies, it will shift activity levels and the ability to carry out your day-to-day task. Now, unlike your mood swing, like today, I have swung from elated to irritated, because that's life. So bipolar disorder is really important for you to understand that it's not a mood swing. It is deeper, it is more enduring and is way more disruptive than people think when they hear, oh, that they're just having a mood swing.

Speaker 2:

So we're going to only talk about there's really three types of bipolar disorder, but I only want to focus on two bipolar type one and bipolar type two. Now I'm not going to bore you guys with how prevalent this is and all the things. You can look that up. What I want this episode to do is for you to understand bipolar disorder. Whether you hit play on this, on this podcast for you or somebody you love, I hope that you hit end and you know a little bit more about how to support either yourself or somebody living with bipolar disorder that you love. And so we have two different types of bipolar disorder. When you hear that word by, you mean two different ends, right. And so bipolar disorder is a mood disorder that ranges from what we call manic, which is super high, to depressive, which is super low.

Speaker 2:

So bipolar one involves that mania that we talked about, and if you've ever been around somebody who is manic, you know it Really really quick speech, flight of ideas. They sometimes won't sleep for days if they're in a manic episode, and we'll talk about this throughout the episode, but oftentimes they'll have grandiose thinking. They'll think something about themselves that just simply isn't true when they're manic. Remember, this is a chemical imbalance that causes this mania and causes the depression on the other side. These people cannot control this. It needs to be medicated. It needs to be treated with therapy medicine and, of course, jesus.

Speaker 2:

Now, this mania can last for seven days. The DSM requires it to have to result in hospitalization. Now, what is the DSM? You ask me that it's just a fancy book that has all of the diagnoses of the serious mental illnesses in it. And so the DSM, for it to be considered bipolar disorder, the mania needs to last seven days or more. So if you can imagine the most hyper person that you've ever been around, and then some, that is mania, and it lasts for seven days or more. But it must include a hospitalization for it to be diagnosed for bipolar one disorder and, of course, hospitalizations are going to occur when that person is a danger to themselves or a danger to somebody else.

Speaker 2:

So bipolar one includes this mania that lasts for seven days or more. That requires hospitalization. This is the first episode and a depression that lasts two weeks or more. And so, for those of you not living with this disorder, I want you to think about this for a second. Can you imagine, for a second, being as high as you've ever been? Because that's what mania is Super, super, super high mood, right? Can you imagine being manic and getting all kinds of things done, not requiring any sleep. Manic and getting all kinds of things done, not requiring any sleep, and then immediately falling into the deepest depression you've ever been in, for two weeks or more. That's bipolar one.

Speaker 2:

Bipolar two involves that depressive episode that I'm talking about and then what we call hypomanic, which is just less manic than regular mania, and but no full blown manic episodes for it to be bipolar two. So bipolar two is more rare. We see bipolar one more with the mania that last seven days that requires a hospitalization, and then a depressive episode that lasts two weeks or more. So let's talk a little bit about what a manic episode looks like. So a manic episode is not just an extremely good mood. It is an elevated and extremely elevated, particularly for the person that you're talking to or irritable mood Okay, that's mania. Also inflated self-esteem.

Speaker 2:

Oftentimes at the hospital we will get patients that say I am akin to, to or grandiose thoughts. Let me talk about that one first. So grandiose thought meaning at its most extreme. I've seen people say I'm friends with Elon Musk, to I saved the world, to I'm the president, to I'm even God, to what we consider to be an inflated self esteem, people that walk around and kind of pump themselves up all the time. If it comes with some of these other things like an elevated or irritable mood and this inflation of their self-esteem or these ideas of grandiosity like they're the best people on the planet. If it comes with a decreased need for sleep. If it comes from the patient having racing thoughts or they just don't ever stop talking. We need to look at a manic particular episode. If it continues and it's unusual and it comes with these other things like racing thoughts, decreased need for sleep, this inflated self-esteem, these ideas of grandiosity, this incredibly elevated mood or this irritable mood, and finally, the one that and this doesn't get as much ink as it should or as much attention as it should.

Speaker 2:

When a person is manic, they are often impulsive and this will lead to risky behaviors. Now I want to park here for a second, because there's a couple risky behaviors that this occurs in when patients are manic that we do assign risk right, wrong, indifferent, whatever to. We assign morality to it, when maybe we should be thinking about as a solid character. So, for example, bipolar people will be extremely hypersexual. They will often have risky sexual encounters with many, many people, sometimes people that are in a manic bipolar episode, will gamble. Sometimes they anything that can be impulsive and risky oftentimes we see in manic behavior, and so you can see how society just kind of kicks these kind of people to the curve that make these irresponsible decisions and risky behaviors when they're in a manic state of mind. If we don't recognize that they could potentially be in a manic state of mind and they're making these decisions that are risky and that are really destroying their lives, somebody needs to step in and help them. If they have some of these other symptoms of mania Impulsivity, generally speaking, when it's this risky drug abuse, all of those things generally comes with a severe mental illness like bipolar disorder, mental illness like bipolar disorder, and so mania, you'll know mania when you see it, because it is so different from the way the person normally is.

Speaker 2:

You will know it when you see it. But it's just this extreme, extreme elevated or irritable mood that comes with a decreased need for sleep, that comes with this increased self esteem, esteem and comes with these ideas of grandiosity. Now, hypermania shares many of these symptoms, but they're less severe and they typically don't result in hospitalization. Remember, the hypomania comes with bipolar two. So hypermania shares many of these symptoms, but they are less severe and typically don't result in hospitalization or even a major life disruption, but still they do cause issues with relationships, they affect work and all of those things. It really is easy for us to miss mania, especially in the early stages. But hyper mania can sometimes feel good, like extra energy or creativity, but it can quickly spiral, and so this is when this is different for the person or different for you, different from the way you used to be. If it came out of nowhere at puberty or in your mid 20s, this you need to be talking to a doctor about the possibility of a mood disorder. If you are suddenly having hypomanic or manic episodes and you never had them before, or if that's true about somebody you love, you need to go get some professional help and be evaluated for bipolar disorder.

Speaker 2:

Now let's talk about the depression part of bipolar disorder. They're both sad, but depression can oftentimes lead to suicide, suicide attempts, drug overdoses, all kinds of things, and so the depressive side of bipolar disorder is often described by people who have it as the hardest part of it. Right, because the mania. These patients often enjoy the mania, because they have often enjoy the mania because they have unlimited energy and all the things, and even though they usually make horrible decisions, and mania is not as bad for them as the depressive episodes, of course, the persistent sadness or emptiness, just fatigue, loss of energy. I feel worthless, I feel hopeless, I can't concentrate, and thoughts of death or suicide, and of course that list could be deep and wide.

Speaker 2:

For the depressive side of bipolar disorder, unlike regular depression or major depression, this bipolar depression often comes in cycles, and so it'll be a depressive episode with a manic episode, a depressive episode with a manic episode, a depressive episode with a with a manic episode, and we call this cycling. And sometimes it happens very quickly, unexpectedly and without warning. So you can imagine being these patients being high, high, high, low, low, low, high, high, high, low, low, low, and this can happen in the course of 24 hours, over and over and over. These people are suffering y'all and we got to make sure we remove the stigma from bipolar disorder and we understand that this is literally a chemical imbalance in their brain and can be fixed with medication, therapy, behavioral therapy, all kinds of ways we can help, especially in the depressive modes. This is when we see suicidal ideations. This is when we see patients take their lives in these deep, deep, deep depressive episodes.

Speaker 2:

So what are the causes and the risk factors of bipolar disorder? I just kind of mentioned it. Mostly genetic Research suggests, though, that it is a mix of genetics, the brain structure, chemistry and even environmental factors like trauma or high stress, and we're going to talk about that here in a few minutes. If you have a parent with, or a sibling with, bipolar disorder, your risk increases. But one area getting a lot of attention is how trauma is related to bipolar disorder, our body's stress response system. People with bipolar disorder disorder almost always have histories of childhood trauma, and studies show how this can affect mood regulation and biological stress responses, meaning that as the brain develops when there's childhood trauma, I've said so many times on this podcast that trauma changes the brain and it can change the brain to the tune of a bipolar diagnosis. In the absence of genetics or brain structure issues, that could clearly be the environmental factors, meaning stress can change the chemistry of the brain to be a bipolar brain, and that for this podcast and for me. If you know me, you know that trauma is my jam, as I am receiving a doctorate degree in trauma and community care. I think that we all collectively need to take a breath and go and think about children who are suffering trauma and, if you have influence on their lives, trying to change the story, like what happened with me. By the way, I'm very fortunate that I don't have a severe mental illness like bipolar disorder because of the level of trauma, but it was because of God's people that came alongside of me and stood in gaps for me that my brain is okay, but many, many people are not.

Speaker 2:

Diagnosing bipolar disorder can be very complicated. It is often often misdiagnosed as major depression. That is what we call the unipolar meaning. There's no mania with it, and so bipolar, especially bipolar 2, where we just get the hypomanic episodes and not the mania bipolar 2 can go unnoticed for many, many years. So it's very important to work with a psychiatrist and or a clinical psychologist, and maybe even your therapist. I have a listener who messaged me some time ago and said that their doctor diagnosed them with bipolar disorder. Of course, I'm not their doctor and I'm not talking to that patient, but it seemed like a misdiagnosis to me, and so a proper diagnosis can take a lot of time. We need to see the cycling of the mania, the cycling of the depression, and when we, if we don't see that for a significant amount of time, then we really can't diagnose bipolar disorder.

Speaker 2:

And so it is a process to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. There is DSM criteria for it, but there's also our eyes and ears that we're watching these patients to see. Are they dealing with major depression? Are they dealing with trauma? Are they dealing with bipolar disorder? And are they dealing with bipolar disorder as a result of important brain changes that happen as a result of their trauma? If you are wondering whether you or someone you know might have bipolar disorder, you need to trust your instincts, trust the process, find doctors that will evaluate and evaluate deep and wide, not just with the DSM but with behavioral observations, talking to family members, evaluating labs and blood work, and all of that because bipolar disorder is a disorder that qualifies for social security disability.

Speaker 2:

I see patients like this every day in the hospital who can't live normal lives because of untreated bipolar disorder, and so it is a serious mental illness. It is a serious diagnosis but it takes time. But the good news is is the patients I see at the hospital are not treating their bipolar disorder. They are often not medicine compliant. Medicine is the number one way we treat bipolar disorder. One of the oldest medicines that we have to do this is lithium as a mood stabilizer, so it's going to stop that manic depressive cycling. Antipsychotics, and sometimes antidepressants though these will be used carefully, but we use antipsychotics to keep the mood level so that we're not cycling between depression and cycling between mania. Obviously, psychotherapy you know I was going to say that modalities like cognitive behavioral therapy is a great one.

Speaker 2:

Making sure that patients understand and make sure you understand how to manage the symptoms. Stress the importance of sleep. Don't forget the routine of life is important when treating any severe mental illness. This is the part of the episode where I want you to hear, though, that bipolar disorder does not mean the end of a meaningful life. Okay, I opened the podcast with a fictional story of Jonah, who has bipolar disorder, and I created him from the fact that we know that the most was. Some of the most resilient, creative and insightful people that I have ever met have lived with this diagnosis. Some of the most artistic, creative, smart, brilliant people are also living with severe mental illness, but with the right support, many people go on to have normal lives, families, careers.

Speaker 2:

We can talk about the science, we can talk about the symptoms, but the heart of it is this we're talking about people, people who matter, people who can heal, people who can thrive. Because with bipolar disorder, you are not your diagnosis. You are more than the depression, you are more than the mania, you matter, your pain matters, your mental health matters. If you're under the sound of my voice and you're like huh, yeah, I know what she's talking about when she says manic and guys, if you've ever been manic, you know what I'm talking about. If you've ever been around somebody, it's like you know, you just know, I don't, I don't want to be, I don't want to explain it because I don't want to color what you think, but but mania is tough and certainly if you've ever been around anybody in the throes of deep, deep depression, you know, you know, and so there is ways to help you.

Speaker 2:

We can talk about the science and the symptoms, like I said, but people matter, people can heal and people can thrive, and you can help people heal out there as you come in contact with people, because you or somebody you know or somebody that you come alongside of is not just a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. They are more than their highs and their lows. People ask me all the time what can I do to help people? I love somebody with bipolar disorder and I know what many of you are thinking because I can read it across the airways. But they don't believe they have bipolar disorder. That might be true and that is a whole nother podcast for another day because bipolar patients have some of the most limited insight into their own illness and any severe mental illness. And when I say that again because I can read your minds over the airwaves I know somebody with bipolar disorder, but they won't admit that they have bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder have the least amount of insight of almost any severe mental illness, second only to schizophrenia. So of course they don't know. You have to listen to with compassion. Listen to them with compassion. Listen to them without judging. Of course you're doing.

Speaker 2:

One of the things is educate yourself about bipolar disorder by listening to this podcast episode. Help your loved one, get to somebody to evaluate them and then, once they're evaluated, if they are diagnosed, help them, make sure they stay on their medicine, take them to the doctor, be their accountability because again, patients with bipolar disorder will start to take their medicine. Guess what happens? They feel fine, no mania, no depression, and they think, hey, I feel fine, I don't need to take my medicine. And that, my friends, is the crux of the hardest part of living with bipolar disorder is medicine compliance, and so if you are living with somebody with bipolar disorder, whether that's diagnosed or not, you have to understand that they have a road in front of them. They have to stay on the medications. Now, we do have some medications for particular types of bipolar disorder, because there are subtypes that I'm not boring you with, but there are what's called long acting injectables, and these are shots that we give patients that struggle with medicine compliance, because they stop taking it when they feel better. And basically, I tell patients all the time you only have to make a good decision to take your medicine once every 30 days, and so if you or somebody you love wants to talk to your doctor about this, you want to use the term long acting injectable.

Speaker 2:

Okay, encourage openness with people that potentially have a bipolar disorder, somebody that you love. Don't force it, though. Okay, use a little bit of people skills with people. Let them know you love them, lead with compassion, lead with concern, lead with curiosity and get them the help they need. Recovery doesn't mean cured, though. It does mean that they're stable. It means that they can be self aware. It means that we give them, through cognitive processing therapy, a toolbox of coping skills. It means we give them community we talk about community a lot on this podcast. It means that we give them grace.

Speaker 2:

Recovery, for bipolar disorder is a winding road, and what you need to know is that it's okay to stumble, because you will stumble, or somebody you know will stumble. What matters, though, is the return to wellness, the willingness to keep going. The last episode that we dropped here and you can just go back one was about Jesus, when he talked to the man, the paralytic man, who had been sitting by the pools of Bethesda for 38 years. He said Do you even want to get better? Because you see, if you or somebody you know has bipolar disorder, the secret sauce is the tiny bit of desire to get better, to get well. We can do a lot with those patients, so, as we wrap today's episode, I want you to remember that bipolar is part of someone's story. It's not their story. It's not who they are. It can be a brutal illness. It can mean multiple hospitalizations over their lifetime, but can also awaken them to incredible strength when they realize that the creativity and some of the things that go along with bipolar disorder often makes them superstars.

Speaker 2:

To those of you listening who are in the trenches, you know what I'm going to say there is hope, you are not alone, you are not broken and you are not beyond help. To those of you who love people with bipolar disorder, thank you, because you are part of the healing. If this episode spoke to you, I would love it if you would share it with somebody who might need it, because this is something that we don't talk about a lot. We don't talk a lot about on podcasts. We throw big words out at people, but the bottom line is is bipolar disorder is a difficult, difficult diagnosis to live with, but not impossible. Difficult diagnosis to live with, but not impossible.

Speaker 2:

And if we, as the people of God and as a community of people, whether these people are in our church, whether they're at our work, wherever they are, as Christians we are called to minister to people who are struggling, and people with bipolar disorder need us, they need the church, they need non-judgmental attitudes when they engage in these risky behaviors that we often assign poor morals to, and so they need you to love them, they need you to look at them and say what I've been saying to all of you for five years you are seen, you are known, you are heard, you are loved and you are so valued. That's what all people need, but particularly people in the throes of mania and then deep depression, and then mania and then deep depression. This is a severe mental illness and it needs to be talked about more, and so I encourage you. If you have any questions and people have actually been taking advantage of this lately right there in your podcast app is a link that says send me a text message, and if you have any questions for me, I will answer them to the best of my ability. I do encourage any of you that think that you or somebody you love might have bipolar disorder that you consider going to get some help, because help is there.

Speaker 2:

Guys, we are going to be back in two weeks. We are in the summer, and so we will see what this brings for us in terms of the podcast. By way of just updates, I am where am I? I am at the part of my dissertation where my proposal was accepted, and I will be defending that proposal, which is the first half of the dissertation, on June, the 13th, and then we will be on to the second half and hopefully by October, you all will be calling me Dr Watson, I presume. Until then, I'll be back in two weeks. Please reach out to me in any of the ways Instagram or on text through your podcast app, or, if you know me for real, you can obviously send me a text message. But I hope that you guys all found this helpful and remember you are seen, you are known, you are heard, you are loved and you are so, so valuable In the fight of your whole life.

Speaker 1:

You work twice as hard To get half as far. Nobody knows the hero you are. I want you to know the hero you are If you ever start doubting, when it's hard to keep hoping. I just want you to know that I believe in, I believe in you when you're tired of fighting and you feel like you're broken. I just want you to know that I believe in, I believe in you. Look how far you've come, what you've already done. I want you to know that I believe in, I believe in you. I believe in you Whenever you forget. I'll say it all again If you ever start doubting, when it's hard to keep hoping. I just want you to know that I believe in, I believe in you when you're tired of fighting and you feel like you're broken. I just want you to know that I believe in, I believe in you, I believe in, I believe in you.

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Amy Watson

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