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Wednesdays With Watson: Faith & Trauma Amy Watson- PTSD Patient-Trauma Survivor
Welcome to "Wednesdays With Watson," a compassionate and insightful podcast dedicated to exploring the complex journey of healing from PTSD, the role of faith in recovery, and the profound impact of trauma on our lives. Hosted by Amy Watson, a passionate advocate for mental health and a trauma survivor, this podcast aims to provide a safe and empathetic space for listeners to learn, share, and find hope.In each episode, we delve deep into the multifaceted aspects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and its far-reaching effects. We bring you riveting personal stories of resilience, recovery, and transformation and expert interviews with psychologists, therapists, faith leaders, and individuals who have walked the path of healing.Our mission is to break mental health stigma and encourage open dialogue about PTSD and trauma. We explore the profound connection between faith, spirituality, and mental well-being, offering insights into how one's faith can be a powerful source of strength and healing.Whether PTSD, faith, or trauma has touched you or someone you know, "Wednesdays With Watson" is here to inspire, educate, and provide practical tools for navigating the healing journey. Join us on this empowering quest towards reclaiming peace, resilience, and a renewed sense of purpose.Today, subscribe to our community of survivors, advocates, and compassionate listeners. Together, we can heal our hearts and find the path to recovery, one episode at a time.
Wednesdays With Watson: Faith & Trauma Amy Watson- PTSD Patient-Trauma Survivor
Wrestling with God: Faith in the Midst of Suffering
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Sometimes I win the battle, sometimes I lose. At times I feel Christ's presence flooding my meager heart. At other times I cling on for dear life, not knowing the end of the story. But I must stake my life on this claim that Jesus is the resurrection and the life. Today we are going to step into one of the hardest questions people ask about faith and about God. How could a loving God allow suffering? And about God how could a loving God allow suffering? You see, the question is not new, it is an ancient one. But for us it has to be more than just an intellectual exercise. It has to be personal, because suffering has a way of pressing into the deepest parts of our soul. That quote that I opened the podcast with is by Rebecca McLaughlin, who wrote a book called Confronting Christianity. In this book, rebecca asks some of the most difficult questions, in an indictment if you will, in a way, about God and his sovereignty and whether or not he's real and why some of the things in the Christian faith are confusing, like suffering, and so I'll read that one more time. Sometimes I win the battle, sometimes I lose. At times I feel Christ's presence flooding my meager heart. At other times I cling on for dear life, not knowing the end of the story, but I must. I must stake my claim on this that Jesus is the resurrection and the life. Welcome everybody to the Wednesdays with Watson podcast. Take a moment where are you today in your relationship with suffering? Are you clinging on? Are you resting? Wherever you are, wherever you are, you are not alone.
Speaker 2:Let's do a little bit of a survey of suffering in the scripture. This is not meant to be all encompassing by any means, but I wanted to us just highlight some suffering in the Bible and some reasons why it appears to have happened. We know that Job, of course, the most potentially famous example of them all. Job suffered for no apparent reason. Right, job lost everything his family, his health, his wealth, and he never received an answer to why. It reminds me of the old for him song called why, and there's a lyric in that song that says I know down here, I may not understand, but I won't let go of your unseen hand.
Speaker 2:When we think of Job, we think of a verse that I will mention a lot in this podcast 2 Corinthians 4, 17,. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an incomparable weight of glory. It wasn't meaningless. As John Piper says in that famous monologue in the Shane and Shane song Though you Slay Me, when your pain feels meaningless, you can whisper to God. I do not see it now, but I trust that you are producing something in me.
Speaker 2:We jump over to David, where we see that maybe some of David's suffering became so because of sin, particularly his sin and the sin of others. David's life shows us that sin and suffering can be connected, not necessarily in proportion. Jesus corrected that thinking in John 9 when he said the blind man's suffering wasn't because of his sin but it was because God's work could be displayed Back to that 2nd Corinthians 4, 17. It is producing something in us eternally. But the fact of the matter is, guys, guys, is that sometimes sin happens and sometimes suffering happens as a result of other people's sin. I know, when I think about the lowest moments of my life, that suffering was because somebody else sinned and that affected me. And so, as you are thinking about Job, who had suffered for no apparent reason to us anyway, and David, who caused suffering and then himself suffered, if you're thinking about your suffering and how it was at the hands of another person, know that we see that in the Bible, jesus promised that we were going to have suffering. And we know, because we have free will, that we were going to have suffering. And we know, because we have free will, that we're going to have suffering. Sometimes that's the worst suffering to try to recover from when we're suffering because somebody else hurt us, somebody else sinned.
Speaker 2:When you think of Paul, paul suffered smack dab in the middle of the will of God. How many times have you felt like, okay, god, you can give me a break. I am trying to follow you, yet you're still allowing all of these things to come into my life. We see that Paul suffered smack dab in the will of God. His thorn in the flesh led him to say my strength or my grace is sufficient for you. My power or my strength is made perfect in weakness. That song reminds me of the old Stephen Curtis Chapman song. His strength is perfect. When our strength is gone. He'll carry us when we can't carry on. Where are you weak right now? Are you suffering? Smack dab in the middle of the will of God? Can you be like the psalmist that said my heart and my flesh fail, but God is my portion forever? Can you ask God to let his power rest on you in this time of suffering. In this time of suffering.
Speaker 2:We know that Jesus is the ultimate picture of suffering and Jesus suffered with purpose. And, guys, that is you right. Nothing is wasted. It is working for us in an eternal sense of glory. Your pain is not wasted. Jesus' pain was not wasted. We see in Isaiah 53, he was pierced for our transgressions and by his stripes we are healed. So, as you're listening to this podcast and you're thinking of your darkest moments, can you sit with the fact that Jesus suffered for you and for me? He suffered the ultimate for you and for me. What does that do for your heart when you know that we do not serve a high priest who is unfamiliar with our suffering?
Speaker 2:I went to Facebook on this question because this subject is something that I had the opportunity to teach at church, and I asked people this question how could a loving God allow suffering? And here are some of the responses. Somebody wrote this is what I would love to know. I can't take anymore. Is that you today? Somebody said so. Basically, the negative things that happen are purposeful and are meant to shape us positively. It's basically an obstacle course.
Speaker 2:Somebody else said we live in a broken world and he's warned us of that. The earth is broken, the weather is broken, healthcare is broken, but he is sovereign and his purpose is worth trusting in. Somebody wrote there are simply some things that we can never know versus simply believe outside of the context of pain and suffering. Somebody said because Satan is the prince of this world. Somebody else wrote this is as close to hell as a believer will ever get. One day, jesus will come back for us. Somebody else wrote so our questions aren't about his power, but of his goodness. If we decide that first he is good, then we realize that our perspective is limited. Trust says I will believe even through the pain. Faith says I will believe who you are and what you say. Somebody said I don't believe that god allows it, but he gives us free will and makes the choice to treat each other with kindness or cruelty. Man has rewarded him by waging wars and exploiting people in his name. The kingdom of god is with, is within us or not. In some cases, god is a scapegoat, she writes. And then, finally, this most honest, brutally honest response, I think, is where we'll land on this.
Speaker 2:What I don't understand in this present world is why God allows certain suffering to some and protects others from it. For example, two babies are born with the same heart condition. One dies, the other lives. One woman is blessed with a husband and children. The other never sees those desires fulfilled. One child is born into a family that loves and cares for them. Another is born into one that neglects them. Two people beg God for healing from a physical or mental illness. One gets a miracle and the other suffers every day of their life.
Speaker 2:It's so hard to wrap my mind around this, and I've wrestled through the things with the Lord. But in the midst of all the things that I don't know or understand, what I do know is that if God allows suffering to come into someone's life, no matter what the cause, whether it be the result of the fall, the enemy's sin of the one suffering or the some case of somebody else, or even, when we need discipline from the hand of God himself, that he uses suffering, all of it, to accomplish his good purpose, it's never for nothing. And when we are tempted to look at suffering and wonder why God is not doing something about it, to know that he has already done something about it, that he sent his own son to suffer for us so that we would have the opportunity to come to know him and be delivered from the ultimate suffering of living for all eternity without him. And soon, and very soon, he will put an end to all the suffering for his children. And the extreme heaviness we feel from our suffering now will feel so insignificant when compared to the weight of glory that is coming for those who belong to Jesus. No matter how heavy our suffering has been here, the glory that is coming will far outweigh them. All these honest responses, I think, help us process it ourselves, because suffering is not just a theology, it is a lived reality.
Speaker 2:Another person wrote at age 12, someone. I experienced unspeakable trauma and I never could reconcile it with a loving God. I've become agnostic. My faith was shaken, and maybe one of these responses that I've read is you. Maybe you're there now. Stories like this remind us that children are harmed, families break apart, people we love die too soon, and sometimes it can feel a little bit unbearable to call that loving.
Speaker 2:But back to that John Piper monologue. In that song, though you Slay Me, john Piper once said every millisecond of your pain is producing a peculiar sense of glory you will get because of that suffering. Every millisecond of your pain is producing something. If it feels meaningless today, can you ask God to show you, even in a small way, what it might be producing? Because the Bible is not silent on suffering. Suffering is promised. We see that in John 16, 33, where Jesus says In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, for I have overcome the world. We see in Romans 8, the suffering is universal. That verse that I keep reading in 2 Corinthians 4, 17,. Suffering is purposeful, it is producing something. It draws us near to Jesus because we do not serve a high priest unfamiliar with our suffering. That's the Hebrews 4.15 verse. Suffering points us to hope because all things will be made new.
Speaker 2:Christianity is unique in the sense that we don't suffer a God distant from pain, as I've mentioned so many times on this podcast Hebrews 4.15. We serve a Savior who entered it, who knows it and who redeems it. Can we say, jesus, I thank you that you are not distant from suffering? Thank you that you bore it yourself. Help me to trust that you are with me. Those questions that I ask online. Everybody had their own answer, but ultimately you have to find your answer to it. Do you believe that suffering shapes us positively? Do you believe that we live in a broken world, but God is sovereign? Do you believe that this world is not your home, that this is as close to hell as a believer will ever get? Can you say? I don't understand why two people with the same story can ask the same God for the same thing and get different things, and I don't understand that. But God is sovereign. Can you find your way in these moments of suffering, in these moments of pain, in these moments of suffering, in these moments of pain, and to like Jacob, wrestled with the angel. He spent time with God and said I will not let go until you bless me. And Jacob walked away with a limp. Jacob walked away with a holy limp. Guys, I encourage you to get in to the ring and wrestle with your faith, because God can handle it, as we saw with Jacob, who said I will not let go until you bless me. It reminds me of a time when I've shared so many times on this podcast. It is September of 2025.
Speaker 2:And in September of 2008, I attempted to take my life. It is National Suicide Awareness Month. I did not want to be here. The pain had simply overtaken me. I remember sliding down a wall in that dark apartment and just wanting to end it all, wanting to be gone, but in that moment, god came and he understood that I just needed help in human form, and people came along to help me. That was maybe the only time in my life when I've ever struggled with my faith and, instead of indicting a holy loving God, in those moments, in those darkest moments of my life, I was able to see the sovereignty of God. I was able to articulate I don't understand what you're doing, but I know that you will perfect all that concerns me. That started me on a journey, a very, very long journey of getting better and getting to the place where I am today, where, in September of 2025, instead of being in a hospital for my own psychiatric breakdown for lack of a better way to explain that I'm helping people who are not as far along on their journey because he will perfect all that concerns me and I want him to use the things that have happened to further the gospel, and I hope that this podcast has done this today. If you're under the sound of my voice, I do not make light of your pain, but I do tell you. I hope that you can look at the people who have gone before you and don't go to the dark places, because ultimately, where I landed with all of my suffering is that God is good. Jesus loves me. This I know, for the Bible tells me. So I belong to him, you belong to him.
Speaker 2:I was having this conversation with some people at work the other day. A friend of mine who her husband, asked her why does Amy believe in God? And my friend said to him she's had a hard life, she can have her God. May it be so that one day, when everybody looks at all the things that have happened in our lives, may it be so that we trusted God with that pain and we allowed it to be used by him. I don't say that to be trite and to try to make light of your pain. I only know that at the end of the day, when the wrestling match happens with a holy God, that you will land at a place of peace and understand that God did exactly what he told us it was going to do Suffering was going to be on this planet.
Speaker 2:It is not an embarrassment to Christianity. It is a defining moment that we were, we could say we knew this would happen. Suffering is promised. It is a defining moment where we could say we knew this would happen. Suffering is promised. It is universal, it is purposeful, it is temporary, it links us to Jesus and it points us to hope. And will you let it be the megaphone that God uses to rouse a deaf world? As CS Lewis once said, god whispers in our pleasures, he speaks in our conscience, but he shouts in our pain. It is a megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
Speaker 2:My friends, suffering may be at your doorstep right now, it might be in your home, but scripture tells us in that full passage in 2 Corinthians 4, 16-18,. Therefore, therefore, do not lose heart, for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes on what is unseen and we trust in the Lord with all of our hearts. We lean not into our own understanding. In all of our ways we acknowledge him and, guys, then then he will direct your path. So, in this moment where your flesh and your heart may fail you, can you say, as the psalmist says you, oh Lord, are my strength and my portion forever. I hope that you guys can find some peace in your suffering, knowing that it is purposeful, that it is promised and that you are not alone. Can you walk by faith, even when you cannot see? Guys, thank you so much for joining me here today.
Speaker 2:I am about one or two podcast cycles away from being done with my doctorate degree. We will rebrand at that point and be back with brand new episodes every two weeks. Until then, we are in survival mode, so I'm going to leave you until I see you again here, and you know what I'm going to say. You are seen, you are known you are heard, you are loved and you are so, so valued. Y'all have a good one.
Speaker 1:I know your heart is heavy from those nights, but just remember that you are a fighter. A fighter. You never know just what tomorrow holds, and you're stronger than you know. Oh, you're stronger than you know. Hold on, don't let go. Hold on and don't let go. Just take one step closer, put one foot in front of the other. You'll get through this. Just follow the light One step closer, one foot in front of the other. You'll get through this. Just follow the light in the darkness. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. When the night is closing in, don't give up and don't give in. This won't last. It's not the end. It's not the end. You're gonna be okay. It's not the end. You're gonna be okay. When the night is closing in, don't give up and don't give in. This won't last. It's not the end. It's not the end. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. You're not alone, Never alone. You're gonna be okay.
