Hydrate, Eat, Sleep, Move, Cry, Repeat with Lauren Starnes

PTSD 101: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1027246/episodes/18786915

Healing doesn’t begin and end in the mind. We’re kicking off a new season as the Trauma Doc with a candid, practical deep-dive into what your body has been trying to tell you—especially if trauma taught you to live only from the neck up. Joining me is physician assistant and nervous system specialist Lauren Starns, founder of The Resilient Healer, who helps translate the signals we’ve learned to ignore into simple, repeatable practices that restore safety and capacity.

We start where survival mode hides: the basics. Hydration as a quiet cue that steadies the system. Feeding as a nervous system strategy, not a moral battle. Sleep as nightly repair that makes every other intervention stick. Movement as gentle somatic medicine—neck mobility, slow walks, micro-stretches—that brings sensation back online. With each pillar we share actionable tactics: habit-stacking your first 30 minutes, intuitive swaps that honor your body’s yes/no, sleep tracking that informs your day, and five-minute flows that downshift without chasing adrenaline. Expect real talk about alcohol as a chronic downgrade, the difference between knowledge and wisdom, and why automation beats willpower when your system is tired.

Only after safety is built do we go down and in. Lauren reframes crying as a body-led release—short, self-limiting waves that clear stored activation without feeding the story. For many of us, anger and fear are shells over grief; when the body trusts it’s held, tears do their clean work. The outcome is tangible: a wider window of tolerance, fewer spikes, and a steadier presence for life, work, faith, and relationships. If you’ve felt buzzy, brittle, or numb, this conversation offers structure, compassion, and tools to help you feel again—without flooding your system.

If this resonates, follow the show and share it with someone who needs the reminder that healing starts below the neck. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: which body practice will you start this week?

You ARE:
SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED

Transcript

New Season: The Trauma Doc

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the Wednesdays with Watson podcast. My name is Dr. Watson, also known as the Trauma Doc, and I am your host. The Wednesdays with Watson Podcast exists to give hope, help, and education related to trauma and all of its friends. Welcome guys to the new season. We are going to barrel into this season with everything we have got. This is the first full season that we will do after I received my doctorate degree in trauma and community care from Liberty University. More on that journey probably this season, but in this season, the trauma doc is what we are calling it. It is my goal to domystify trauma and help you, the listener, begin healing. If you have been on this planet for any amount of time, you have likely experienced trauma. And as we enter into this new season, I want to acknowledge that and re-release two episodes that are aimed to educate you to the point where then we can do some real work in the new season, the new episodes, to promote healing from trauma, anxiety, insomnia, perfectionism, overgiver, burnout. We hope to dive into and press into these issues, and we hope by one of my guests who is going to serve as my co-host, Lauren Starnes, that we can help you connect with your nervous system, especially when you have a history of psychological trauma. We will educate you on the clinical definition of trauma. What is it? I just spent three years studying that. What are triggers? What are flashbacks? What are proven therapies that will help you gain your life back, or for some of you, maybe live it fully for the first time ever? It would be my honor to help you do that. If you're new here, you are you don't know, but I live with complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and while mostly managed with some tools and therapies that I will cover in this podcast and have covered in this podcast, I unfortunately recently experienced an event that triggered all those things that I thought were healed. So it's bringing new meaning to me as I bring you new content of what it means to heal from trauma and how that probably means something different for all of us. For me, I'm noticing that it is not a one and done. And as I get older, my body screams for attention because it has carried me all of this time. One of the episodes that we're releasing today is my friend Lauren Starnes, who is the trauma translator. And I have worked with Lauren personally and now professionally. We will bring you episodes together. And one of these two episodes that you will hear after this is my interview with her, When the Body Talks. What is your body telling you? Because as Lauren likes to say, when you experience trauma, your body will say, I will hold on to this for you for now. But eventually it's my turn, your body is saying. So for those of you with screaming bodies, there is hope for you as there is hope for me. So today's two episodes that we are re-releasing cover trauma basics, and that one is called PTSD 101, and nervous system regulation with Lauren Starns and her highlighting her program, When the Body Talks. These episodes are meant to wet your appetite for releases that are coming in the spring with Lauren and with me. Lauren being a nervous system regulator and me being a trauma doc. We want to educate you and help you about the nervous system, how to reset it, how to regulate it, how to listen to it, how to know what it's saying to you, and why you need to do that because of psychological trauma. Because you see, this is the only body that you'll ever have, and it's our hope that this series with Lauren will point you in the direction that you need to chase an accomplished healing. So if you're new to this podcast, welcome to My Passion, helping people find hope and help after experiencing psychological trauma. My definition of trauma has certainly changed over the years, and one of the most transformational experiences of my life has been understanding the nuances of trauma and how it affects my body. You see, this is life-changing transformational work, and so don't subscribe, don't listen to this podcast if you don't want to be responsible for information that will change your life. I can't wait to share some relatable knowledge with you as it pertains to trauma. And I know Lauren can't wait to share knowledge that she has from her work as a trauma, as a nervous system regulator and helping people, like I said, for the first time, maybe capture what their body is trying to say to them. So first up is the PTSD 101, and then if you will look in the show notes, Lauren's episode is there, or it is the very next episode that will play in your podcast player. If you're listening to Lauren's episode first when the body talks, the link will also be in the show notes for PTSD 101 and also the the podcast in your podcast player right before the one that you're listening to. Then in two weeks, Lauren and I will start the conversation that will hopefully be your first steps to healing and chasing the life that was meant for you by the God of the universe, a life that is abundant and free. You are so valuable, and this fight for your wellness is a worthy fight, and one that I want to fight with you. Knowledge is such power, and when you understand how your life experiences shape your everyday life and when you learn to listen to what your body is saying, you can live a life that is abundant and free. Not a perfect life, but take it from somebody who has experienced significant psychological trauma. Here I am behind a microphone talking to you, not necessarily all good. As I said, I just recently relapsed, if that's a word, where my trauma has come back to me, and I am having to practice what I preach as the trauma doc. So listen to these two episodes. Make sure you are following or subscribing wherever you're listening, and we will be back in two weeks as Amy and Lauren begin the conversation about trauma and nervous system recognition and nervous system regulation and nervous system maintenance. And I'm gonna help you understand why your trauma has affected you like it has. And so I hope you will join us for this new season, Wednesdays with Watson, the trauma doc. Until we come back to you in two weeks, you are seen, you are known, you are heard, you are loved, and you are so, so valued. See you guys in two weeks.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

There is not a human on this planet that was not created to cry. It is one of the first things we do after birth.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Hey everybody, and welcome back to the Wednesdays with Watson Podcast. So excited to have you here. If you have landed on this podcast for the first time, please like or follow the podcast. That just helps it come up in the algorithms for more people that need it. It is May of 2024. It is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I'm excited to bring you two episodes this month that will focus on mental health awareness. This first week I am bringing to the microphone Lauren Starns. Lauren is a physician's assistant who graduated from Lincoln Memorial University. She has over 10 years of experience as a PA in psychiatric medicine, and she is now working alongside, if you will, the things that she learned from Western medicine and helping us understand how outside of the medical system, or alongside of the medical system, if need be, we can implement some things into our lives, including nervous system regulation, which helps increase capacity and helps healing that are so simple. So today we're going to talk about when the body talks. And so many of us who have had trauma are deaf to the signals of things like thirst and hunger and exhaustion and all the things. And so Lauren comes and talks to us a little bit about that program. We talk about my experience in working in this program when the body talks. And so let's drop into this conversation with Lauren Starnes. Okay, guys, we are here with one of my favorite people and part of Team Amy, if I am being honest with you. So we are here today with my friend and the founder of The Resilient Healer. Her name is Lauren Starns. Lauren, welcome to the Wednesdays with Watson podcast. Hi, Amy.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

It's so good to be here with you.

A Wake-Up Call: Body In Crisis

SPEAKER_00 10:11

So, you know, a lot of times on these podcast interviews, I get nervous. I am not nervous about this one because you are my friend and as I mentioned, part of Team Amy and an integral part, I think, and what we're going to talk about today and helping me and on my healing journey. And so I wanted to start the podcast. And you may have expected that I was going to start it this way. But the reason why, besides just the wealth of knowledge that you're going to bring to us today during Mental Health Awareness Month in terms of nervous system regulation and just how our bodies hold trauma in general, I want to tell the listeners what started me on this journey of paying attention to my nervous system. As many of my listeners know, I've been in counseling for a long time, have used very effective trauma treatments like EMDR, all very heady stuff, as you and I talk about a lot, a lot of the cerebral stuff. But about a little over a year ago, so April was a year, I walked into your office because of that time you were working in psychiatry, and you have, I think it's 12 years, right? Am I right about that in psychiatry?

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Almost. It's like 10. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Yeah, 10. So a decade in working in psychology. So you were the physician's assistant to my doctor, Dr. Grace. And by the way, this is a good time for me to mention that anything that Lauren says today is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Please do not implement any of these things that we're going to talk about today without consulting your doctor. But anyway, Lauren, back to you. I was had been admitted to the hospital. I had was burning the candle on all the ends. I was working 12-hour shifts at the emergency room in school, just plus dealing with my own trauma, which unfortunately I have to wake up and decide to deal with every day. And I remember walking into your office about 15 pounds later than I am in this moment when we're talking on this on this Zoom interview. And I sat down and you sat down across from me, and you didn't even know anything that was going on. And you said, Amy, if you don't figure out how to pay attention to what your body is telling you, you're not going to be here. Do you remember that day?

SPEAKER_01 12:20

I do.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

I remember that day very clearly. Can you tell us a little bit about it from your perspective?

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah. Um, you know, like it it's not every day that you have those conversations with patients, right? Right. And there have been some big impact moments that I've had with certain patients where you touch this spot where it's like you're gonna die. Like, let's just have the uncomfortable, you know, conversation and bring it in the room that like this is not sustainable with life. The choices you're making and the way you're treating your body, you you're going to die. And you know, unfortunately, like those are conversations we need to have with people sometimes. And it was time for you and I to have that conversation. I've I've known you a number of years, um, and I'd seen you go up and down through a lot of things, and I knew you were a resilient person, and I knew you were sliding down into some places where there's a level of getting lost that it's hard to come back from.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

And there were some cascading things that were starting to happen where you were starting to have multiple organ systems that were starting to go offline.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

It it was far beyond just your nervous system being dysregulated. And that's scary.

unknown 13:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

And I'm grateful. Like I remember looking at you like a deer in headlights, thinking, you know, I because I felt like I had done all the not all the work, but I had continued to do work in a counselor's office. And that and and and that's important. I don't want our listeners to think that we are saying that that that it's an either-or. Um, you still need to be doing that work, right? But I remember how that landed for me. And I think that had Dr. Grace told me that, I would have looked at him and walked out of there and continued as I as I were. Um, but I remember looking at you saying, Lauren, I don't know how to do that. Like my we we call it a knower, and uh we're doing a I I'm still working with you, but but that was broken. My no everything in me was broken. Like there was no signals telling me I had just spent five days in the hospital because I had just burned myself out working at the hospital and not taking care of myself. And I remember looking at you thinking, okay, she's serious, because guys, if you get the opportunity to work with Lauren, she she is very, very kind and very, very sweet until she's not like when she wants to get something over to you when when when there needs a bit, but you were kind in that in that moment, but I remember the gravity of it. And at that time, you yourself were beginning to transition out of traditional Western medicine into doing your own thing, which was finding what you're doing now, which is called the resilient healer. And guys, we will give you all of the the contact information for Lauren at the end of the podcast. But the reason why I asked you to come today is A, I just love talking to you. But B, that began a journey. And you and you you told me at that point, you was like, Amy, I'm starting some programs, and the very first program I'm starting is called When the Body Talks. And so I joined that group. It was a a group with about six or eight of us, I think. And so what I want us to do today is kind of walk the listeners through what they would experience if they were going to join this program. Because I guys, when I tell you that this has been a game changer for me, when I began to work inside this program called When the Body Talks, it really helped me understand that I needed to, and this is something I still deal with daily, get out of my head and begin to listen to what my body was talking and what my body was saying to me. Because I Lauren, I wasn't feeling pain, right? I wasn't feeling anything. I was just going down in flames. And so so we so I started when the body talks. And so I want you to kind of give us a little elevator pitch for that program first, and then I want to talk about the experience that I had going through that program and how effective it has been for me.

What “When The Body Talks” Is

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Yeah, for sure. And I think kind of part of the elevator pitch is like kind of what you were just saying, though, right? Which is there was this spot where your knowing was very off. And so throughout all this time, as I've been trying to like create what is it that I think is most important for people, there's this spot where it's like, well, your body has the wisdom. Your mind has knowledge, but your body has wisdom. And you cannot know things like that with just your mind. And so it's this approach of rebalancing the whole system. Because, like you said, I'm not saying we're not doing therapy or we're not doing counseling or we're not getting psychiatric medications when needed, right? I'm not saying we're not doing those things, but there has to be a rebalancing. And if we can those things, unfortunately, let's just go ahead and talk about the negative of all of those things counseling, therapy, medication, all that is a focus on our mind. Yeah, it is still putting attention on our mind, and it's actually saying, Hey, mind, you're broken and you're not doing things right, and we need to fix you. We're still not putting any attention on the body, right? We're not putting any attention on all the nerves that run down your spine, run to your organs, run to your musculature, your limbs, all the things that are holding sensation for you that keep you in the present moment and keep you conscious right here in your lived reality. We're not putting the attention there. So while it is still appropriate to apply those techniques, you have to find a way to keep recalibrating the system to really transform and get unstuck once your nervous system is dysregulated.

unknown 18:10

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Like those medications and those kind of things alone, they're still feeding the wrong spot.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

And so when you came into When the Body Talks, that's a huge part of what was happening was how do we get your wisdom back online? How do we get you to know what's happening? And that's that's the journey for each person. The other really unique thing that we're doing in When the Body Talks is we're spending time on our own mat because one of the principles that I brought into all of Resilient Healer, everything I teach in Resilient Healer, is based in self-healing. It's based in you being the expert on you and you learning through guidance and my holding and my support and my teachings how to heal you in the unique, perfect individual way that you need to be held. Right? So I hold the person and they heal on their own mat, is how I say it, right? We're using yoga-ish principles here. But I think that's really different and really key to why it's so transformative is yet again, you're getting to put all of your attention back on yourself. You are not wasting an ounce or drop of energy on anyone else outside of you, and yet you are learning in a group. So you're remembering you're not alone, you're getting all the nuggets and all the wisdom of other people, right? Just doing therapy and counseling alone, you and one other person, that can take you some unique places you need to go inside of yourself, but it can only take you as far as you're able to access and see your own stuff. So all the blind spots don't get touched. When you're in a group, your blind spots have like these little flashlight moments where it's like ping, ping, ping, ping, and all of a sudden you can grow and heal so much more because the stuff that you wouldn't have just been able to access and bring to the table with a one-on-one, somebody else is giving you the blessing of their journey, their healing journey is shining the light in your shadowy places and helping you find what was blind to you. Yeah. So there's there's some just unique things that we like kind of weaved into the whole process.

Foundations: Hydration As A Quiet Signal

SPEAKER_00 20:31

Yeah, and I gotta be honest with you, and you know, we both kind of laughed, or I laughed when you just said about the mat, because listen, here's the deal: most of the people that are going to be attracted to this kind of program, right? Wanting to get, and by the way, you mentioned rebalancing. For some of us, we had never been balanced. And I want to let that hang there for a second. Because for people like me, and my listeners, mostly my listeners know my story, you know, my trauma happened pre-verbal, and it didn't really stop until I was 35 years old. And so I never knew what it was like to have a balanced nervous system. Always, always in my head, because that is how I'm built, always in my head. But so for some of us, because I want those of you listening that are like, I don't even know what you're talking about. What you're not supposed to feel buzzy all the time, you're not supposed to feel on the on the brink of burnout all the time, that's not the way you're supposed to feel. I thought that was just the price of trauma. And I'm here to tell you it is not the price of trauma. But when I walked into When the Body Talks, two things. One, I had never been regulated. So I didn't even know what that felt like. And two, most of the people that are going to be attracted to this kind of program has trauma, probably empathetic, and it is second only to the some the the four principles that we're going to talk about in the in the body talks. That was very hard for me. It continues to be hard. For me to stay on my mat and not be concerned about some of these people who I would consider friends now, um, not being worried about them and staying on their mat and paying attention to you. And see, Lauren, most people that listen to this podcast, you know, as you know, I'm a Christian and and a lot of my listeners are too. And we have been taught, at least my generation had been taught in some way that when the Bible says, lay down your life, that means like just forget all about yourself, which is exactly opposite of what the gospel preaches and what we're supposed to do, right? And so for some of us, we had never been regulated. And I want listeners out there to know what that feels like. That that feels like like every little thing can set you off. Every little thing can make you angry, can make you irritable, all the things. And so I walked in there kind of the kind of there, you know, like yelling at the dog for no reason and and that kind of stuff. And these things that the head, the therapy, and the stuff that we did in EMDR, yeah, we reprocessed the trauma. I was exposed to the trauma, and it didn't it I wasn't having the PTSD symptoms anymore. But like you said, my body was shutting down. I had just spent five days in the hospital. And so, so it is as you mentioned, it is a group format. We met on Zoom, but let's begin to talk about some of the basic principles, right? So when we talk about nervous system regulation, there's a theory that I love and I know you do too, called the polyvagal theory. It is the longest nerve in your body and it affects everything. And so giving that the attention that it needs is important. And so the first one that was huge for me, and most of y'all are gonna scratch your head going, this is not huge for me at all, but maybe it is. But the first one that is huge for me is water hydration. Now, I say water because I choose hydration mainly. But talk to us about why water is going to help set the stage for going in and going deep and finding the tears and touching the pain and all the things that When the Body Talks helps us do.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

So the beginning of When the Body Talks is about trying to help down regulate um your nervous system a little bit to the spot where you can begin to meet your foundational needs. It is impossible to get out of survival mode if you do not know how to meet your foundational needs. And like you said, like you just kind of brought up, some people have never known this. This is not so like your body has the wisdom of knowing what it needs, but you may not have ever had the lived experience of these things. And so it can be groundbreaking to be like, oh, I don't even understand what it means to be thirsty.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Like I'm not sure what that signal feels like. And so the beginning of the journey is learning to lay a solid foundation of meeting your body's needs, of saying, it is safe to be here and exist in this body. It is safe. I see you, I hear you, I'm going to take care of the basic things you need. And the place we start is with hydration uh for a lot of reasons, actually. It's actually a very one-for-one practice. It sounds so simple, and yeah, it's a very in-depth practice. Um, partly because it's a very quiet signal, right? The signal of I'm thirsty is much quieter than I'm in pain, I hurt, it's even quieter than I'm tired, I'm hungry. Right? It is a small, soft voice that says, Hey, I'm thirsty, I want something to drink. And so learning how to experience that with your body, it it changes everything, it shifts the awareness of your internal lived experience at a huge level.

unknown 25:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

It is the thing we all have to have, period. Right. And it is the thing that gets lost.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

Right. And here's the thing, um, and I just want to introject this for just a second, is that from a physiological standpoint, so now we're stepping outside and we're look we are looking at it from a Western medicine standpoint. Your body is under stress, literal stress, when it is not hydrated because it needs fluids, water. We're not advocating that you drink, you know, four monster drinks every year. Yeah. Yeah. But but we're also not advocating that you drink just water. But but there but what you're saying like is like survival mode, because I didn't get thirsty, and and I still I I have I got bought a Stanley at the beginning of all of this, and it's been game-changing for me because even though I've been through When the Body Talks, I still don't get that so ever so tender signal that I am thirsty. But in When the Body Talks, we begin to make it a habit. And you gave us some things to help us make that a habit. What are some of those things for people who are listening and for people that would would want to join when the body talks that you provide for them?

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Yeah, so it's about practices. Like the whole course is based around learning to have a practice. That's why we talk about getting on the mat. Um, and it's to reprogram parts of the nervous system so that the foundation can automate itself, which is kind of what you're talking about, right? It's like, hey, get a cup and fill it up. Hey, try making hot tea at night or try making an adrenal cocktail if you're feeling, you know, like you need something to amp you up, but you want to stay away from caffeine. It's really about exploring, and you can you can always insert like whatever you probably know which parts of this course like jumped off the most at you.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Like, I have my ideas, but no, keep keep talking, I will absolutely interject. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Yeah, so it's it's really about trying to reprogram yourself to have the foundations that you may not have gotten as a child, as a young person that you may not experience, that your body may not feel. And so if having a nice cup helps you, do that. If setting an alarm every hour helps you, do that. Try to keep a log. Like the number one thing I push people towards at the beginning of their practice is being accountable for writing it down. Write down how many things that you drank that day. Was it water? Was it Gatorade? Was it herbal tea? What was it? Was it coffee? Was it soda? When did you drink it? How much did you drink? Learning to really build that awareness is the first step that you have to take in being able to rewire your automation. Because the idea is you do want it to be automated. You want to just automatically grab the Stanley and know, hey, I've got my Stanley cup for the day. I am going to take care of this need because my body needs to be hydrated to get out of survival, to have enough hydration for all those organ systems that we were talking about to actually function appropriately. Because we're not just looking at the nervous system, the nervous system is what pulls together every other system that makes you function. Right. And so it's about redoing that, but we break it down into really basic steps like, hey, do you have a cup that you like to drink out of?

unknown 29:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

What's the first thing that you do every day? I really believe in whatever you do the first 30 minutes of your day, you're always gonna get to, right? Everybody gets to the first thing they do every day.

Feeding The Nervous System

SPEAKER_00 29:24

I I want to stop there because that is a freaking mic drop. Okay, so say that to me. Say that for them again, because this has been game-changing for me. Say that that again.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Okay, this is truth right here. 100% true. You will always get to the first thing you do every day.

unknown 29:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

And so you have to choose well. Right. And for me, like Lauren, I'm on library medication that says on the bottle, drink with a full cup of water. And before this, before implementing, okay, the first I'm always gonna get to the first thing I do every day. I again back to my Stanley, sitting right by my bed. I drink as much as I can before I undo all of that with 45 cups of coffee, which I still need to work on. Um but but I do think that what inside when the body talks, what you talked about, is helpful for this. Because, guys, here's the deal: if your body is under physiological stress, because you're not hydrated, bec and and it's like a crescendo effect, like Lauren said in the in your office that day. Like my organ systems were shutting down because I wasn't listening to the basic signals that my body was giving. And so hydration and whatever way you choose to do that. Lauren mentioned adrenal gland cocktails, and you can Google that, and there's a bunch that you need you you can do. Now, I did find, and this is the thing that I love about working with you, Lauren, is like here are some suggestions. Uh, you know, you need to hydrate, that's not a suggestion, but an adrenal gland cocktail was one of your suggestions, right? And I tried the adrenal gland cocktails, and it was a no for me because it made my heart race and it did all the other things. Some of the other people in our group, it was like I could run a marathon after I after I drank an adrenal gland cocktail. But the point and this first point of when the body talks is we want it to we Lauren wants it to be, she wants to remove the barriers, and so she provides opportunity for you and by way of that group. And so we spend the whole first month on hydration. We met, you'll have to tell me if it's different now, but I think we met, did we meet every week or did we meet every other week?

SPEAKER_01 31:42

No, we met every week. So in When the Body Talks, we meet every week. That's a weekly group call. Um, each week there are new like teaching lessons that get put into the group. It's got a private group that you work in, and all the guides and material gets put in there. Um, and so we go through hydration, we go through feeding, we go through sleep, we go through movement, and we have those as like the four foundational pillars that we're working on. And then we have weekly group calls to talk out like how are those practices going? What are you learning? What do you see? What's new for you? What's confusing for you? Where are you frustrated?

SPEAKER_00 32:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

And it's it's something we're we're really guiding the whole journey. It's a it's a very tight-knit, like kind of deep dive.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Right. And I found opportunity. And I found as we move into the next one, which is feeding, I found that. So there's there's something that those of us in this profession uh call the window of tolerance. Some people call it capacity, some people call it basically your ability to deal. It is the reason why trauma for one per the same event, traumatic event for one person may not be traumatic for another person, because this window of tolerance is your nervous system's ability to handle, to hold these events, right? And so I found, okay, so the first month I was like, okay, got this drinking. I got this, I got my Stanley, I'm getting on the meetings every week saying, hey, I'm good. You know, I'm drinking, you know, half my body weight and and fluids, I'm good. Month two comes around, which is where I knew I would struggle. And this is where we this is where we focus on feeding, right? Yeah. So talk to us a little bit about that and how that helps, again, with the with the idea being, because we are moving towards a second program that that Lauren has called Base, where where you're beginning to realize the expansion of that nervous system, realize the expansion of that window of tolerance. And so feeding was the next thing, which is a struggle for a lot of us on either end of the spectrum. For me, it was actually putting food into my body. For others, it's probably putting the wrong food. For some, it might be putting too much food. How does proper feeding help us increase our capacity, heal our nervous system, listen to our body so that we can go deep and begin to deal for real with some of our trauma?

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Yeah. So there's some parts that are kind of still similar, like we start with water because it's about meeting a need so that your body can start to feel safe, right? And we can turn off survival mode because we've got to get out of survival mode. So feeding yourself is always going to help turn off survival mode. You have sensors all over that are picking up on your blood sugar, and when it's too low, your brain runs on sugar, sugar, sugar, only sugar. Everything needs a consistent blood sugar. And so when you are not feeding your body, you are not nourishing it and you are not allowing the nervous system to settle and be in a state of safety to turn off the survival and go into conscious presence. So it's always coming back to that. But some other unique things that come out with feeding are things like understanding what's a yes and a no. And that's what you kind of talked about, even with the adrenal cocktail, right? It's this is a yes for me, this is a no for me. And this is based on my body, this body, the one I live in. It is not based on a diet that was prescribed by some program, board, certification. It is based on the lived experience that I'm having. And I know these things are a yes and these things are a no. These are foods I might have allergies to, these are things that might not be good for me. And you do, you start to learn how do I nourish my body? And part of nourishment is also loving it, right? Not putting things inside of it that make it feel bad, you know. So it's kind of learning to ride both sides of that, not doing harmful things anymore just because they're convenient or easy or popular, but also really spending the time to take in the nourishment of food and to look at it as wow, this is my body. I get to live in this body, and I'm going to feed it well and nourish it well.

unknown 35:52

Right.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

It's not just the diet approach. The diet approach is also somewhat like mental. Right. You know.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yeah. But I I love, I love your point there. Your tie-in is those of us walking around with the body of trauma dealt with or not in a psych psychologist slash psychiatrist's office, we're in survival mode most of the time. And I and that was for for somebody who is not dumb, I'm referring to myself, fairly well educated, that was so mind-blowing for me. It was like you were living in survival mode already because of your trauma, and now you're doubling down on that because your your body is now burning muscle effectively. And I will say we did this when the body talks about a year ago, and I was being threatened by doctors at that point. They were talking feeding tubes, they were talking all uh hospitalization for an eating disorder, they were talking about all the things.

Rethinking Alcohol, Safety, And Sleep

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Join And those were not exaggerations, right? Like you that's literally where you were.

unknown 37:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

I don't think I realize it as much, but to see the look on your face just now is like, but those were the real threats, right? So the second month we talk about feeding, and I'm like, I'm just not gonna be digging this at all because uh because I just that was an issue for me. It is an issue for me, I should say. And I will say that in those meetings, so now we're in week month two, and we're talking about feedings, and we get the opportunity, you know, we get the mic for a minute and we get to talk. And I know that when I would talk, I would say, you know, I feel like I have this full stomach all the time. Like I just had this Thanksgiving dinner, and you would say to me, Okay, Aim, that that that means that that we need to continue to try to to that's your nervous system, that's your body telling you things that aren't true. And so we need you to make these small steps. And for me, it was just these shakes that probably have a you know all kinds of terrible preservatives in them. You know, it didn't matter at that point. It it it was about fueling my body, and and I still have some weight to gain, but I've gained 15 pounds. They stopped threatening me with a feeding tube. But but I never, again, having never really had a regulated nervous system and living in a paradigm of if I just work harder, if I just pray harder, if I just this harder, if I just insert the blank, I'm gonna be fine. I never paid attention to the vessel that was going to get me to all the all those things that I wanted to do in terms of helping people and living my life and living above the trauma. And so that was game-changing for me. You also provide some tracking and and some advice inside uh when the body talks inside that Facebook group for feeding. What are some of those things that people could expect?

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Yeah, so I mean, again, it's gonna come back to tracking, like trying to watch things, and then it's gonna be very like intuitively led by each individual. But some of the big categories are what are you noticing always makes you feel bad? And like trying to help people replace things and trying to help them see, like, oh, I have to let that go. Like it doesn't matter how much this brings me comfort, it's harming my body. And the part of me that's being comforted is like it's not the part of me that's the best of me, right? It's an inner child that's a wound that's being comforted, it's a mental idea or mental sensation that's bringing comfort, and like really saying, is your body doing okay with that? And it's hard to let go of things that are comforts, and on you know, food, food is one of those places where it's socially appropriate to comfort with things, right? It's not like you're boozing and pill popping, right? You're you're eating food, right? And so it can be hard to let some of that go. It's also about taking away the mental idea, you know, even kind of like what you just said there, which I love because it was so true in the moment, which is I was drinking these shakes, which probably had preservatives and it's like, who cares? Like that in the moment, that was the most true thing for you. You were like, hey, I can drink this. And it's like, then drink as many as you can every day. Like drink them until your body doesn't want them anymore. Trust that it's going to take you where you need it to take you, and don't let the judgment or the mental idea that that diet is wrong or bad, or all this programming we get from outside of us that says, Well, there is a chemical on that label and you're doing something wrong. Your body just wanted calories, and it was okay with the calories in those shakes. Yeah. And and like you just have to listen to it and be like, I'm gonna trust it. I'm gonna trust that my body knows what's best for it.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

And you keep saying trust, trust, trust, trust. And I think that that's what we get wrong. That's what my generation gets wrong. Is we were taught to grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind. And then, you know, because of the way we were our generation X was largely unsupervised, all of us are walking around with dysregulated nervous systems and not meeting our needs. And again, guys, physiologically speaking, you can't so forget the nervous system part, but physiologically, your body is constantly under stress when you're not feeding it. I did want to bring something up, and this doesn't necessarily uh enter the feeding part, but you said something to me in a meeting the other day in terms of, and this is in in the context of stop giving your body things that it it it doesn't like or that makes it you feel bad. And you brought up the subject of alcohol, and I actually asked you to repeat that comment that you said. And I think that this might be, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, anything that we are using to to numb the emotional pain, whatever. What was that comment about alcohol?

SPEAKER_01 41:47

So if we're talking about alcohol and we're looking at the state of our life and like the state of our nervous system, right? There is there's a place where we are in so much pain and we are in so much grief and we are experiencing so much fear where alcohol always feels like an up, right? It's always an improvement. It's like, oh, I got out of that bad place, and I got this temporary external relief from the situation. But as we go through our healing journey and we learn to experience um higher levels of acceptance and neutrality and joy and peace, like as we move into a thriving life, alcohol is always a downgrade. Like it just can't ever be an upgrade. It doesn't matter how responsibly you use it, it does like it just will always be a loss of consciousness, a loss of sensation, a loss of presence, and just a loss of your general connection to yourself. Like it it does not continue. So I understand why so many people utilize their right to consume alcohol, but there's a spot where you just have to accept this is not in my highest and best good, and it never will be again. Right. Especially it's really a dysregulated nervous system game.

Movement And Somatic Practices

SPEAKER_00 43:10

Ooh. It's really a dysregulated nervous system game. I I love that. And that's what we're talking about. Because if you're a listener who is not interested in getting better, just hit stop because we're getting ready to head to some some some more difficult parts of this program. Uh frankly, I hated parts, the the end part of the program, as as Lauren knows. Okay. So, but but what we'll talk about sleep really quickly. That's a big one for people. You mentioned that you know, you're not against psychiatric medications. I am on a medication that helps me sleep because that has always been the issue for me. I do wonder though, as you and I continue to work together, and that's how much I trust Lauren Starne's people, is that she is on Team Amy. When I graduate and get Dr. Watson, you know, if I get a chance to be behind a microphone, it would be thanks. To Lawrence Darns, who is part of Team Amy, because when you live a life full of trauma like I have, you need a team of people that are going to help you out. And so, so anyway, I go back to sleep. That has always been a problem for me. I'm really interested though, because you know one of my goals, not because I think there's a problem with being on medication, but one of my goals is to lay my head down on my pillow at night, like a like what I perceive normal people to be, and go to sleep without the aid of medication. So this part of the of When the Body Talks course for me, I was always kind of relatively silent because I do get very good sleep because of my medication. However, that was not always true. And that's actually what ended me in the hospital about 15 years ago because I just wasn't sleeping because I was having terrible PTSD flashbacks and all the things. There are a lot of reasons why people don't get a lot of rest, though. It's not just the reason why I a dysregulated nervous system. I know, but I want to hear you tell us why rest matters when it comes to regulating your nervous system.

SPEAKER_01 45:01

Oh man. So, like I said, so many things. I love these topics because they sound like they're going to be simple, and then it's like, oh, we can go so many places. One of the key parts of sleep is that it is your rest and recovery mode, right? Like we have to live sustainable lives. And it is not sustainable to keep going and not give all these organ systems and all these parts of us, and namely our nervous system, and even our brain, right? This was a body-focused course, but like even our mind, it requires sleep. It requires this time to go under and recover and repair. And that is where we get our resiliency from, is we have to have these different phases where we're allowing the things that make us sustainable. And sleep is a hard one to work with because it has a level of unconsciousness to it, right?

SPEAKER_00 45:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

You cannot, that's the whole point, is you're gonna go unconscious and you're gonna fall under the slumber of sleep. And so it can be really difficult to try to get your body to get on track with that. And you have to use a lot of monitoring and a lot of tracking. You and I have talked on and on and on about our aura rings. I love any kind of tracking device that you're willing to use to help you get data to analyze the places where you can improve your automations around sleep.

unknown 46:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:18

And it kind of this is all kind of tying back in, but it's like, what do you do right before bed and what do you do right after bed? This is kind of like the first thing you will always get to the first thing you do every day. What are the things you're doing right before you go to sleep and right as you wake up that help to set the stage for having a good relationship to sleep, to having a good relationship to how you go down and relax and feel safe?

unknown 46:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:43

And it's all coming back to safety.

SPEAKER_00 46:45

Right. And people who are listening to this who have experienced trauma understand that because you know, is particularly if you've dyno, if you're diagnosed with PTSD, by definition, your safety has been compromised. And so sleep is an issue with a lot of people because of that. But but yeah, we we we laugh all the time that that we're not sponsored by the aura ring, nor do we want to be. But the aura ring is not inexpensive. However, there are other tracking methods that you can use, apps on your phone. There's one, there's one uh app on your phone, I don't know what it's called, but you literally put the phone near you. I'm not a big fan of that just because of all the stuff that might be emitting into your brain, but you put the the phone near you where it will pick up movement and stuff like that. So that this particular app is not necessarily going to be great if you're sleeping with somebody or a dog or something like that. But anything that you can do, because the aura ring, like we said, is expensive though, the best in my opinion, because it tells you how much REM sleep you get, how much deep sleep you get, how much how much you move during the night, oxygen saturation, what your heart rate was. And it will even tell those of us with deaf bodies, though my body is becoming more hearing because it has been aided by when the body talks. But it the the aura ring will even say, yo, pretty bad night last night, take extra care today. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

And that means it helps, yeah, it helps you get that signal ahead of time. Right when you know you can't hear it, it's giving you some preventative moments where it's like, oh, I am not in a bad place yet, but I am tracking towards or trending towards a bad place. Yeah. So it teaches you how to rewire yourself and be like, oh, this sensation right here, this is actually what's happening right before I go off the ledge. So I can start to pay attention to this.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

Right. And so I I I understand there's people out there listening who have terrible insomnia. And one of the things that I wanted to cover in this podcast, and this is a good place to do it, that you overall say to me often is neutralize all the fears, right? Most people have insomnia because they're worried about something or whatever. And you taught me, like, I remember, I remember telling you, Lauren, I'm afraid I'm gonna live in my car. And I so I'm not sleeping at night because of that. And you're like, okay, well, let's go there. And you shared a funny story with me like how like I Amy, I literally have a car that I can live on. I've gone there. And so, and so, in terms of sleep, when you have these fears, neutralize them. Go there, which is a and we're we're headed in that direction where you're gonna go in deep and touch the feelings in just a second. So, one last one that could help with sleep that's part of when the body talks is movement. And I want to tell you, I I've been waiting for this podcast to tell you. So, you sent me, um, and Lauren and I work together on a one-on-one now, but you sent me this yoga video or this five-minute video that was all neckwork. All of it was neck work, and I was like, This is Lauren just being cray cray again, uh, you know, and and then you texted me and you're like, what was that experience like for you? I was like, five minutes is a really long time to sit there and just move my neck and my shoulders and all the things. And so then I started to do it, and now I'm up to doing that a couple times a day. But I learned why you did that. Because those of us who have experienced trauma, particularly pre-verbal trauma, and this is out of the book When the Body Keeps a Score by uh Dr. Vanderkock, when you've experienced early childhood trauma, these tendons and ligaments in your neck actually don't form like they're supposed to. And so stretching them to the right, to the left, and backwards and forwards, gets that trauma stuck out of that part of your neck and to your shoulders and back pain. Back pain is so common in trauma. This is why movement is important. So thank you for sending that to me. I know you gotta be proud of me right now. Um I'm so proud. But talk to them a little bit about how movement is also listening to your body. And for me, when movement became priority, I was tired at the end of the day. So we all have these things that can tell us to stand up and move and all the things. We all have them. It doesn't have to be an aura ring, you can have an Apple Watch or whatever. Talk to us about that.

Going Down And In: Crying As Release

SPEAKER_01 51:13

Yeah, so movement is important for a few reasons. First off, we are inambulating bodies, we are meant to move, right? Our bodies were created to move. You absolutely have to move them, they cannot hold still or sit in certain positions. Like you have to move it for it to be functioning and healthy and working right. Your musculature, your ligaments, your tendons, they're all these parts of us, and they are there for you to move in dynamic 360 degree directions, right? And so if you are not moving your body, it keeps kind of stuck in a lot of fear, in a lot of stuck emotions, in a freeze response. It's not a good thing. And on the flip side, movement is where we also explored conscious movements, which include slow, still, precise attention. Yeah, right. And so some of the movement was practicing stillness, which sounds kind of like the opposite of moving. It's not, it's like moving your body into a position where you can then let it be still and you can be conscious with it in that pose, in that position, in that place. Learning to walk slowly and gently, not running, not power walking, there's no adrenaline, there's no dopamine high. Can you just walk and be present? And can you watch how many things pop in your head and are like, well, I need to do this, or I should speed up a more faster because I need to get home and I need to get this off the list. And I how are you actually moving inside of your body? And then, yeah, taking it a step further and going to something like that next stretch video, there can be a lot of trauma stored in our necks for so many reasons. Like you said, you you talked about childhood reasons, a lot of sexual trauma gets trapped there, a lot of suppressing your voice kind of trauma gets trapped there. A lot of people that start to feel like they can't catch a good breath. We know how breathing impacts our nervous system and our survival. There is so much that can come out of just putting attention on a practice around a five-minute neck neck yoga video.

SPEAKER_00 53:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:19

And I'll put it in the show notes.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

I'll put that one particular in the show notes for people.

SPEAKER_01 53:24

Because there's so many places where movement is going to open up sensation. And we're trying to get sensation below the neck. That's what we're trying to do. We don't want to just be a mind and a head. We want to keep listening to our body. We want to get those sensations, and you gotta move to be able to get all those sensations to come back online.

unknown 53:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:44

Sensation below the neck. I love that. And I will tell you one thing I have not mastered is walking slowly when I go out for a walk. I do, I'm one of those people who does get the runners high and I walk fast anyway. And so that's that's a good reminder for me. But in particular yoga and Pilates, I find is incredibly helpful for paying attention to sensation below the neck because I am the most uncoordinated person on the planet, and I am literally just trying to breathe in that moment and and not hurt myself. And so what it does is it gets me out of my head. And the other thing that is so, you know, and I'm doing it as I'm talking to you, is stretching and these circular movements. I was at I was at a mental health uh summit at Liberty University a couple weeks ago, and there's a whole class on somatic movement, somatic yoga. And even you can go to YouTube, just put into the search bar music for nervous system regulation. And that music is of a certain megahertz, the beats are a certain megahertz. And if you will just get your behind up off your chair for five minutes while you're listening to the music and move your arms and circle, move your neck in circle, move your hips and circle. I have, after this course, I you know, I I feel like my Keurig takes about 20 minutes to make a cup of coffee. It doesn't, it's about 30 seconds. But but I find that even when I'm doing that, that I like I'll stretch down and and and come back. Y'all can't see me because we're on the audio, but but putting my hands behind my back, all of this stuff telling my body, hey, you're alive, you're used to numbing, you've spent over 50 years of your life numbing, not paying attention to your body, Amy Watson. And so let's get up and make priority the first thing that you do every day, which for me, since the body talks, for the movement in particular, is stretching when I'm making my coffee, stretching when I'm in the shower. When I when my ring back to back to the oil ring for a second, it it'll be like, yo, you're stressed, you need to figure something out. Pulling up that YouTube channel, because I realize that I'm going to have to work for the rest of my life, as all humans will have to, whether you have trauma or not, especially women, I think. I don't have any scientific proof for that, but especially women, need to take care and listen to our bodies. Like you said, we are made to move. And so, you know, this made me I would usually Lauren, by the time I was done with work, I would go in my room, close the shades, make it as dark as possible, watch something completely mindless on my iPad instead of sitting out in the driveway and watching the sunset over this alligator-infested lake across the street from my house. You know what I'm saying? It's those decisions that lead us to where we're going next, which was not my favorite part and continues to not be my favorite part of this. And so we spent three months doing this. We spent three months paying attention to hydration, movement, sleep, and feeding. And then we began to talk about okay, guys, na now that you know, now that you've you're feeling something below the neck a little bit, let's talk about. And I wish I wish we were on video. I just wasn't able to make it happen this morning because you the way you describe it, where we need to go down and in, and and one of the things that was so powerful for me and when the body talks is you're like, we've got to stop making it about the story.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

Oh yeah, oh for sure, you know, and so in that next module of When the Body Talks, so like we've spent time attending to our needs, understanding how to create safety for ourselves, understanding what our body is saying it needs to feel safe. And once we have established safety and understanding our needs, then we go in and we try to find the things that are stuck that need to come out, right? Not before we establish safety, not before we have a foundation to fall back on or go back to when we need it. So it's very important to learn one part first, but then yeah, we're we're going down and in. And so the whole second module is based around crying as a practice and emotional release. And those are general phrases because again, it's going to look different for everyone. But it's coming back to the principle of your drama is stored in your tissues, so your body is the faithful servant carrying around everything that terrified you to a point where you could not feel it in the present moment. And it said, Hey, I've got this, I'm gonna hold on to it for you until later. And it just keeps doing that and doing that and doing that. And a lot of times when we get stuck in a chronic state of dysregulation and stress, we don't go back in and feel it. And so that old pain, that old trauma, sometimes from decades or the big like a lifetime ago, is just sitting in there in the tissue of our body, and it's just like, yeah, I've got that one too. I've got that one too. Coming back to the idea of us being sustainable, sustainability says you have to go back in and you have to feel it. And we were all created to cry. There is not a human on this planet that was not created to cry. It is one of the first things we do after birth. We were all created to cry, and yet so many of us lose the skill of crying. It's either not fostered in us or it's shunned in us or it's programmed out of us, and like that's yours. That is your skill. Here's the thing the body does the crying. Crying is not a mental process. You do not sit down and mentally process your way through taking a food. You trust your body knows how to let that go.

SPEAKER_00 59:59

Wow, what a nice thing.

Tools, Tracking, And Everyday Habits

SPEAKER_01 1:00:00

You should not try to mentally process your way through how to cry. You should trust that your body was perfectly created to know how to let it go. So if you can trust your body to move excrement and toxins and all that stuff out to booty, you can trust your body to know when to open up, let the crying happen. And crying is a release of tears and mucus, right? It is a release of wailing and sounds, it is a release of breath, it is a release of all these energies that have been trapped inside of you that are related to pain and hurt and wounds. And we can cry for joy, we can cry for other reasons. We're we're narrowing this one down so we can hold a particular understanding of the skill that has been lost. Right. And like you said earlier, in our society, and in especially in certain generations, this is really a lost skill. Like we did not get this passed down from parents, and it's it's becoming a problem that we are not remembering the skill and the practice of crying. And it is a body-led practice. There is no mental story. You don't need to remember what happened, you don't need to think up the thing that sparks the tears. It does not need to be a story or a narration or a mind-driven activity at all. Your body knows what to do, it knows how to start, it knows how to stop. Your body will turn off the crying the minute it knows it's at the right spot to be done. And the average wave of crying lasts about 90 seconds. Like on average, it is not a long process. If it's hanging out longer than that, you're probably crying from your mind or your story. You're probably not crying from just your body letting it go. And sometimes we get scared to start crying because we're worried we won't be able to stop. Your body's got you.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:04

And this one, in full disclosure, is continues to be the most difficult one for me because I am so heady. Like it is in my head, and and it's been about the story, it's been about the narrative. But what what I found to be true in my work with you uh with in both when the body talks and our one-on-one stuff is that it does happen just now, kind of out of I say out of nowhere, but my body is ready for it. I do have to remember, you know, that it's not bad or it's not anything except for this is the time that this is the kindest thing. This is this allowing myself to be in a situation where the tears come. Because I think part of me, Lauren, is afraid of like or was afraid, and and sometimes still is, like, we're going down, and for some of the for some of us, that well of pain is deep, deep, deep, deep. And so there's there's this fear of, you know, when the tears start to come, like, then who am I, right? Like, if I'm not walking around with and and this is where I'm where I want to get to, like, guys, if you don't have a desire to get better, turn off the podcast. Don't listen to this podcast ever, because you have to have that desire. And I desire to want to get better. I don't want to cry. I don't want, I don't want it this practice of crying, but but I want to get better. And my body, more importantly, is saying, it's time. Like you don't have to live the rest of your life with all of this buried deep inside of you. And what this has done for me, going back to that window of tolerance, if it was two inches before, I feel like it's 24 inches now. And so that means now when when the daily life stressors come, the dog does something or this does something. I'm not yelling at the dog. I'm just like, let's not do that, dog. You know, I'm not I'm not walking around. You know, I often think of nervous system dysregulation as, you know, when you're when you're incredibly dysregulated, like you'd literally, you're you're buzzing so much that you would glow in the dark, you know? And I'm finding that paying attention, being curious, making sure that I'm feeding myself, making sure that I'm hydrating, making sure that I'm sleeping, making sure that I'm moving, making sure that I keep people like you on my team, like Dr. Grace on my team, like my counselor on my team, keeping people around me that remind me that I'm valuable and that those tears, while expensive, are so redeeming and so healing. And so towards the very end of when the body talks, my body woke up, and you and I had this experience. I was like, I began to react in fear and in anger, and we both understood that, and and and I want listeners to understand that if you or somebody you love is constantly operating out of fear and out of anger. I love how you explain that, Lauren. How fear and anger is a shell over what we need to get rid of for tears to occur. And so find a healthy outlet to deal with that fear and with that anger. I was telling you the other day on a on a meeting that um I remember one time I I was so mad that I took a baseball bat to an orange tree and you're like, the the actual tree? I'm like, no, the oranges. Didn't hit the actual tree, just the oranges. But but yeah, if you're unable to cry, because I know some of y'all are going to message me and go, I can't cry. Right. Then a program like this, and and this part this episode has certainly been to highlight Lauren's program, but more importantly, both of us want everybody that's listening to us to know that you don't have to live in a dysregulated nerve nervous system. You don't have to live in your head. You don't have to have the experience that I had where you walk into a doctor's office and somebody you trust says, if you don't change, you're gonna die. And we're not overstating the importance of a regulated nervous system when we say that. You know? And doc Dr. Diane Langberg, who is one of my favorites, says these are the elements that you need when you talk about dealing with trauma. Time, the tears and telling. Notice she has the tears in the middle before you begin to deal with the narrative. And so this is an incredible program. I'm gonna put all of Lauren's information in the show notes. She has done something that is so remarkable and so admirable in stepping away from her her career in medicine to help people understand that this body-focused work, body-focused trauma work, body-focused work, period, saves lives. That's not hyperbole when I say that. It saves lives in more than one way. It helps us to live our lives healthfully. Because I got news for all of you guys, if you don't pay attention to this stuff, your body's gonna start paying attention to you. And you're gonna end up in the hospital like I did. You're gonna get threatened with things like food feeding tubes, you're gonna get threatened with things like being bakorrected. You can't continue to ignore your body. And if you don't feel it right now, if you don't feel anything in your body, and then you go, This podcast isn't for me because I don't feel dysregulated, you are our target on this podcast. Because you should, as a human being, right, Lauren, be feeling something regardless. You should you should, yeah, you should always be feeling. You should have sensation.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:59

Um, and yeah, I mean that that's really just what it kind of came down to. I I didn't hate my job in psychiatry, but like it was never going to serve people in the way that I think they need to be served. It's never gonna rebalance the bigger system. You know, we've been kind of talking about that with the nervous system, but like our nervous systems are always connected to other people at a societal level. Like, we're always touching there's emotional contagion that sets off each other and sets off other things. And there's gotta be a balance to the system. It is not that I demonize my psychiatry work or my medicine work or prescriptions or those kind of things. It's just there's not enough of the balancing. And I'm like, I need to put my attention and focus here on the balancing of what we need to be bringing back that makes the whole thing work better because the whole system is getting a little off culture.

Program Details & Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 1:08:54

And in fairness to you, you tried to do both at the same time. I know every time I saw you. Oh yeah, for a while. Yeah, every time I saw you, and even that day in your office, it was like, okay, we can yeah, I can take your blood pressure and and and read the PTSD, PSL5, and uh all the forms that you have to fill out. Now I don't want none of those forms though to talk about some of these things, right? We're we're looking for the head stuff. We're looking, I've got the DSM somewhere around here, which we both hate. So so again, not demonizing psychiatry, not demonizing even the DSM, even though we kind of are. And for those of you who don't know, that's just this big fat book that gives doctors a way to and to give you a diagnosis and bill insurance companies. But to live a life abundantly and then live a life of freedom, these principles of hydration, feeding, rest, movement, and just paying attention to what your body is saying to you. Like that's that is huge. And if you want to be on the road to healing, and people who listen to this podcast do, then I would highly recommend. It doesn't matter where you are. I know I have a lot of listeners in New Zealand at the time, maybe interesting on that, but it doesn't matter where you are, you can work with Lauren. The When the Body Talks is a four-month program and very affordable, guys, uh especially for what it what it does. And so I'm here as a testament, as a client of Lauren's, to say that I had something like a hundred episodes of this podcast where I've just talked about trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma. And we never talked about, I mean, I referenced When the Body Keeps the Score by Vanderkock a bunch, but we never have talked about on this podcast about the importance of taking care of, like you said, below the shoulders. And so I'm gonna put all of Lauren's information in the show notes. These groups are held in a container on a private Facebook group, and so there's prompts and all the things. And so if you are interested, please reach out to her or reach out to me and I will get you in in contact with her. But it is go ahead and give us your contact information.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:56

It's resilient-healer.com. Okay. It's the website. You can get my phone number, my email, all my stuff off there.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:05

Okay, and Lauren also love it. Yeah, and she also has a great presence on Instagram, providing some really good contact there. And so I will put all of that in the show notes. But we are in the middle of mental health or beginning of mental health awareness month, and I couldn't think of a better way to kick it off than uh to not talk about um mental things, but to talk about body things that in turn make your head clear. And Lauren, when I tell you that my head, like in my head space in terms of my everyday life, being more present, being less foggy minded for you know, some of the things that happen when you have trauma, that amnesia that you sometimes have, most of that has just been improved. And when it's not, I know, oh, I haven't done one of those four things today. And so, um, so Lauren, thank you for being here. I always give the mic to my guests at the very end. And so, parting words to people out there listening is all yours, my friend. So perfect.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:01

So I would just say that when it comes to mental health, because that is the theme going on here, and it is one of the themes of where my work is headed more and more, is just there's a difference between focusing on mental health and putting it all towards the mental diseases we talk about, and focusing on mental health in the totality of us. And the best thing I see people do for their mental health is start to incorporate more of their body. It is literally the thing that is going to clear up your mind and make you more mentally healthy to put more attention on both.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:38

And there are not enough people like you out there helping people do that, and so so so we are so grateful. I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful that you're on Team Amy. It might be the only way we get through graduate school. So um, but thank you from the bottom of my heart for your investment in my life. And, you know, I look forward to continued expansion of my own nervous system after uh, you know, a lifetime of trauma. You know, I want it to be said of me that when people meet me that I that I'm not interested in telling them about my trauma, but I'm interested in telling them about my healing. Um uh somebody said to me the other day, you don't ever talk about hi, my name is Amy, here's my trauma. It's hi, my name is Amy, and here's how my faith uh has helped me with that, and here is how I have this incredible desire to continue to learn to help you get better. And so that's what this podcast is for. So thank you for being here today. I I don't know if you've ever listened to uh podcast, but at the end of the podcast, I say the same thing to everybody, and I really mean this from the bottom of my heart to everybody that I say this to, but I really mean it to you, and I know this will this will speak to your message and your your mission too. But Lauren Starns, you are seen, you are known, you are heard, you are loved, and you are so valued. And so is every single listener that is listening to this podcast. We will be back here in two weeks with Dr. Catherine Jackson. Dr. Jay comes back to the mic, and we will be talking about the stigma behind suicide. And so we will see you guys in two weeks. Have a great one.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:11

You have follow me out from the dead. You have to take me from the dead, you have to show your starting, my team.